I feel like a coward

[Lisa Sawyer]

I guess deep down, I know my decision to have a masectomy was the best decision for me. But it is amazing how people react when I state the fact that I did not have cancer but decided to have the surgery as a prevention. I also decided not to have the reconstruction. My husband and I discussed the option and I am not a surgery fanatic and chose not to do the unnecessary surgery if I didn't need it. Is there anyone out there who understands me? I love how supportive people are to a "survivor" but I just wish people understood that you don't have to go through all that to be survivor as well...

[Rose Giaimo]

No way are you a coward! I can certainly understand your decision. If I could have avoided or prevented my breast cancer, I would have. You were very brave to undergo a mastectomy - more brave than me. I was forced to have it! I too, did not have the reconstruction surgery. I was advised by my doctors to wait until after all treatment was over to have reconstruction surgery. It's been 2 yrs, and I still have not gone for it. Like you, I am not a fan of surgery at all!

[Lisa Sawyer]

thanks Rose. So are you planning reconstruction? My sister had it done and she repeatedly tells me that if she had to do it over again, she wouldn't have had it done. There is so much available as far as breast forms and such...I just don't see the worry. But it is an adjustment either way.

[Rose Giaimo]

I don't know if I will ever have the surgery. I don't mind wearing the prosthesis. It looks so natural even I forget it's not me. Many people ask me about having the surgery and why didn't I do it at the time of the mastectomy? People should not judge us unless they have walked in our shoes.

[Lisa Sawyer]

I got that question a lot too. I found that if you explain in detail about the reconstruction...it does give people a sneak into why a person wouldn't do it. How are you dealing with the summer heat and the prosthesis? For the most part, I usually just wear baggy t-shirts if I can be casual. But I am dealing with swimsuits as a stumbling block...how about you?

[Rose Giaimo]

I don't find any difference with the heat and the prosthesis, My real breast sweats too! The bathing suit issue is another story! I was in Florida a couple of months ago and went by the pool and was very self conscious. But the mastectomy suits are cut a little higher so it's not too bad, but I guess for me, with less clothes on, I was more aware of the missing breast, when usually, I don't even think about it. Then I just said - oh well, too bad. If people know and they don't like it that's their problem. It is what it is-we are who we are with or without breasts. We define us, not our breasts!

[Barbara Zarrell]

Hi Rose,

Welcome to your network. I am glad you chose to comment on the experiences you have been going through. Your journey and experience will help all of us.

I agree that most of the prosthesis are hot and uncomfortable in the summer especially. You might want to look at the Jilliana Form. A number of women have been ordering it, and love it. It is made with small microbeads and covered with a cool, cotton fabric. It is listed under the casual/leisure forms.

Over the last 10 years I have fit many women with bras and forms. After breast surgery, we all tend to focus on that missing breast, or on our chest if both breasts have been removed.

We want so much to look even, and to make sure that the world out there does not see any imperfections. If you think about this, prior to your surgery, you probably did not think about this much. I have not had breast surgery, but my left breast is larger than my right - and I never think about it!

The world does not see what we see after surgery. Be confident, and empowered. I am sure your journey has helped you become a stronger woman.

Thank you so much for being part of our support network!

Barbara

Rose Giaimo said:

I don't find any difference with the heat and the prosthesis, My real breast sweats too! The bathing suit issue is another story! I was in Florida a couple of months ago and went by the pool and was very self conscious. But the mastectomy suits are cut a little higher so it's not too bad, but I guess for me, with less clothes on, I was more aware of the missing breast, when usually, I don't even think about it. Then I just said - oh well, too bad. If people know and they don't like it that's their problem. It is what it is-we are who we are with or without breasts. We define us, not our breasts!

[Rose Giaimo]

Thanks, Barbara. It's really good to know there's help and understanding for me and other women here. You're right. The world doesn't see what we see. Sometimes I don't see either. It's now just so "me". That's on my good days! Sometimes it's hard. But I am learning to deal with it. Thank you again for your support.

Rose